Today is a very big day, a very big mark in my life's calender...
I had my last, final exam ever ... then ... i stepped out of the exam hall, with all those extremely conflicting feelings !!!
i was walking towards the exit gate, having flash backs of almost every day i lived for the past 4 years ...this corner, that pergola, those stairs, that garden ...
it feels like yesterday i was in my very first day to collage, getting all dressed up and carrying my notebook in my hand, feeling happy to be a grown up collage girl ... using my own ID for the very first time to pass through the entrance gate, taking the first step into that place where i will belong to for the next 4 years of my life... smiling to every human being around, trying to make friends... getting lost and getting help from a senior student to help me find my classroom, opening my brand new pen, and my brand new notebook, with a smile full of hope and energyyy, in my very first lecture ... searching for the prayer room, and praying there for the very first time, feeling that it was the safest place to go ... learning how to open my outlook mail, how to get my lectures from the intranet, how to use the USB flash memory for the first time !
being very nervous to have my first quiz ever, studying so hard for it and feeling like it was a final exam ... standing in front of an audience for my very first presentation ... facing stage fright and trying to look calm while my heart beats were faster than the beat of a metal song !
my first midterm exams, the best results i ever got in midterms ... lol opening the transcript for the first time to see an " A" , and running around the house in happinesss, feeling very glad that i made my parents proud ... my parents celebrating my very first " A" with me, making me feel like i was the Queen of the universe... rewarding me for my performance and getting me my very first laptop !
it seems like yesterday, i was this little girl, who is trying to be a lady ... and now, and suddenly, i am that all grown up WOMAN!
Today, i was again using my own ID, but this time, at the exit gate... looking behind with tears, this time i was leaving and not coming back !
my years here are over, i finished my share at that place, and now i have to walk forward and leave that place behind ...
i passed through the gate, and i started to terribly shiver walking away, having no idea about where i am going !!!
i am walking into Darknesss, can't see anything beneath !!!
i was walking towards my car ...leaving collage behind ... when it all hit me !
WHERE AM I GOING NOW ???
this question, truly hit me in the head like a rock !
The fact is: i feel scared ... very scared !
Unfortunately, too scared to be able to enjoy or celebrate the Big day !
Loulaaa..
ReplyDeleteFirst.. congratss 7abebty.. I'm very proud
Second, For sure u're not walking into darkness.. It's your chance to shine, It's your chance to go out and show the world what you can do, it's time you spread your wings and FLYYYY
Wish u the best ever 7abebty... and plz just be proud of yourselves as evrybosy around u is because u simply deserve it
<3 <3
Mariam
CONGRATULATIONS YA LOULA
ReplyDeleteOf course you're scared, graduating is a HUGE deal, it's a big step into a whole new world of grown ups and responsibilities.
But you shouldn't let that sense of fear overpower your sense of accomplishment! Anything that's new is scary, but anything that's new can also be good.
Enjoy the fact that you've made it so far, give yourself a pat on the back, and approach your new life with enthusiasm and excitement because there are so many great things waiting for you isA =)
xx
first of all i am very happy to see that you sent me this =) second of all, i truely understand how you feel, and i think it is quite normal! you know that all the other student graduating this year from pharmacy had the same feeling! but i really think you should just relax because seriously, i dont think you will ever in your life be under the stress the GUC has been placing us under for 4 years!! anticipate and hope for the best and im sure you'll have a bright future ahead of you =-)
ReplyDeleteYARA HASSAAN!
insha2 Allah :)
ReplyDeletemesh 3arfa 2awsiflk 7elw 2ad 2eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh bgd to7faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa MsA MsA MsA 3aliki y loula w 3qbal ma shofik 27an 3abd elqdoous eltany ya rab ya lulaaaaaaa ya gaaaaaaaaaaamed
ReplyDeleteneaset 2a2olik 2eny yasmine Amer ya lolua
ReplyDeleteFisrt of all congrats ALia.... & welcome to real life ..
ReplyDeletethe article is wonderfull.... really indeed
well i am not a gradutae to tell you my real feeling right now... but al i can tell you... that you were a student & you had a different scary feeling.. but everything was ok..
So according to this definitly everything is going to be ok in real life without any dark roads to face but just try to stay calm as much as you can & try to hold on your confused feeling..
No one will let you go & be alone we are around you ... just try to relax & everything is going to be ok.... evrything i am sure .. :D